Miranda's Biggest Mistake
by FlyingSquirrel42
Summary: Nearly two hundred years into the future, humanity now travels across the stars - but spam, flame wars, and annoying internet memes still haven't gone away. Mild spoilers for Mass Effect 2. Rated M for language.
1. Chapter 1

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: mlawson(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: E-mail list

To all crew members of the Normandy SR-2,

In the interests of improving the time-efficiency of our daily briefings and senior officer meetings, I have set up this e-mail list for all Normandy crew members. Please use this list for any questions or announcements that are non-urgent but nevertheless require the attention of other crew members.

Miranda Lawson  
Senior Cerberus Operative, Lazarus Cell  
Executive Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: gvakarian(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: E-mail list

So not only are we all going to die in a suicide mission, but now we're going to have to read another hundred e-mails every day? Just great.

Garrus

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jtaylor(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: E-mail list

Don't worry, Garrus, it's just for announcements and questions. I'm sure everyone will keep it to a minimum.

Jacob

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: msolus(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: E-mail list

excellent idea. good for maximizing communication efficiency. plus, excess e-mails useful as mental exercise. own reading speed presently up to 20 e-mails per minute.

depends on content, of course. if scientific literature, perhaps only 10. maybe 15. further trials required.

mordin

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kdonnelly(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Check out this message from Miranda

Gabby,

Is it just me or is Miranda getting even more uptight? I mean, now we have to use an e-mail list to make daily briefings more "time-efficient"? Sad to say, but those briefings are one of the few things to break up the monotony when we're flying back and forth between mass relays.

Ken

(forwarded message follows)

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: gdaniels(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Check out this message from Miranda

Kenneth,

You do realize you sent that to the entire list, right?

Gabriella Daniels  
Engineer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jmoreau(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: E-mail list

Any chance we could get EDI to use this list to nag me about another 426 things every day, instead of doing it out loud?

Joker

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: edi(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: E-mail list

Sending repeated text notifications to a crew member well within earshot of my audio projection capabilities hardly seems like an efficient use of the Normandy's resources, Mr. Moreau.

Enhanced Defense Intelligence  
Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: rgardner(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Maintenance update

Hey all,

Just wanted to let you all know that the garbage disposal output feed in the crew quarters is up and working again.

Rupert Gardner  
Mess Sergeant, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: phawthorne(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Maintenance update

So you have it hooked up to the food dispenser like you normally do?

Paul Hawthorne  
Junior Security Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: rgardner(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Maintenance update

Har-dee-har-har.

Rupert Gardner  
Mess Sergeant, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: gvakarian(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Excessive e-mails

Jacob,

See what I mean?

Garrus

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: msolus(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Excessive e-mails

curious at use of e-mail list to complain of excessive e-mails. seems only to add to problem. inefficiency multiplied by factor of at least 1.37, according to best estimate.

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: ehadley(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Excessive e-mails

Seriously. Anybody with nothing better to do than e-mail this list to complain about too many e-mails needs to go get a life.

Eric Hadley  
Secondary Navigation Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jmatthews(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Excessive e-mails

Uh-huh – and what exactly are YOU doing, smart guy?

James Matthews  
Secondary Navigation Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kgoto(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Excessive e-mails

"Anyone with nothing better to do than write in and complain about all the people complaining about people with nothing better to do than write in and complain…." LOL!

Kasumi Goto  
Infiltrator and Thief Extraordinaire

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: gvakarian(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Excessive e-mails

: sigh :

Garrus

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: grunt(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Excessive e-mails

It occurs to me that a well-timed and properly phrased threat of violence is often effective in these sorts of situations. Commander Shepard, perhaps it would help if I promise to dismember anyone who sends excessive messages to the list? I was thinking I might threaten to rip off an arm or leg, though I could limit it to just a few fingers for the first offense if you'd prefer.

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: ashepard(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Excessive e-mails

Grunt – no, that's quite all right.

Though, Garrus does have a point – let's try and just use this list for matters that actually affect the rest of the crew, OK?

Amanda Shepard  
Commanding Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kchambers(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Provisions

I think we're about out of oranges in the snack bar on Deck 3. I don't know if we'll be stopping by the Citadel, or Illium, or :shudder: Omega any time soon, but if we are, maybe somebody could pick some more up?

Kelly Chambers  
Yeoman, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: rgardner(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Provisions

What? We just restocked the oranges last week – how the hell can we be out of them again already?

Rupert Gardner  
Mess Sergeant, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jmoreau(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Provisions

I wonder if the fact that we have a self-proclaimed "thief extraordinaire" on board could have anything to do with it….

Joker

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kgoto(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Provisions

Oh please, I don't even like oranges. Besides, these days I live for the challenge. Why bother stealing food when I could be working on hacking Miranda's transmissions to the Illusive Man?

Kasumi Goto  
Infiltrator and Thief Extraordinaire

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kgoto(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Provisions

Um…hypothetically speaking, that is.

Kasumi Goto  
Infiltrator and Thief Extraordinaire

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kdonnelly(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Deck 3 concern

Is anyone going to do something about the updog smell on Deck 3?

Ken

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: tkrios(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Deck 3 concern

I admit that I have been absorbed in my meditations, but I have not noticed any unusual smell on Deck 3.

Thane

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jtaylor(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Deck 3 concern

Don't worry, Thane, I'm not sure what he's talking about either. Ken, where exactly have you noticed this?

Jacob

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: samara(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Deck 3 concern

Perhaps this is a slang term with which my code precludes familiarity. What is "updog," if I may ask?

Samara

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: echakwas(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Deck 3 concern

I haven't noticed anything either. Mr. Donnelly, feel free to stop by the medical bay if you'd like me to do a quick check for olfactory disorders.

Dr. Ellen Chakwas  
Chief Medical Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kdonnelly(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Deck 3 concern

Samara wrote:

"What is "updog"?"

Not much, dawg! What's up with you?

Ken

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: tzorah(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Deck 3 concern

Um...that joke isn't really that funny in the written word.

Tali'Zorah vas Neema

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: gdaniels(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Deck 3 concern

Tali, you're being generous. It isn't really that funny, period.

Gabriella Daniels  
Engineer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jack(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: "updog"

Donnelly,

Waste my time with stupid bullshit like that again and I'll rip your head off with a warp field.

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: tos(at)cerberus-org  
Subject: user suspended

This is an automated notification from the Cerberus Terms of Service (TOS) VI. As subscribers of _crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org_, you are hereby informed that the privileges of a list subscriber have been revoked due to a recent TOS infraction. Details follow.

User: jack(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Infraction: Death threat of insufficient relevance to present assignment  
Action taken: User's Cerberus e-mail privileges suspended for 10 days  
Follow-up: None required


	2. Chapter 2

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jmoreau(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Khalisah al-Jilani EPIC FAIL

Hey everybody, check this out – Shepard tells Khalisah al-Jilani what's what in an interview on the Citadel:

gww-youvid-com/r=b15wer2

Joker

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kgoto(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Khalisah al-Jilani EPIC FAIL

Damn, Shep, that was some PWNAGE! Way to go!

Kasumi Goto  
Infiltrator and Thief Extraordinaire

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: ashepard(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Khalisah al-Jilani EPIC FAIL

You know, I was actually trying to make a serious point in that interview about all the soldiers who died defending the Council.

Still, if I have to be associated with an extranet meme, I suppose I could do worse than "Khalisah al-Jilani EPIC FAIL."

Amanda Shepard  
Commanding Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kgoto(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Khalisah al-Jilani EPIC FAIL

Did you know they actually ripped off that interview for a scene in the season premiere of _CSI: Tuchanka_? Check it out here:

gww-youvid-com/r=ba235er

Kasumi Goto  
Infiltrator and Thief Extraordinaire

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: lgoldstein(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Khalisah al-Jilani EPIC FAIL

Kasumi Goto wrote:

"gww-youvid-com/r=ba235er"

RICKROLL'D! Hahahaha!

Lauren Goldstein  
Junior Security Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jtaylor(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Khalisah al-Jilani EPIC FAIL

You should be thankful that Jack doesn't have her e-mail privileges back yet, Kasumi...

Jacob

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: tos(at)cerberus-org  
Subject: users suspended

This is an automated notification from the Cerberus Terms of Service (TOS) VI. As subscribers of _crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org_, you are hereby informed that the privileges of two list subscribers have been revoked due to a recent TOS infraction. Details follow.

User: kgoto(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Infraction: Extranet meme use of questionable comedic value  
Action taken: User's Cerberus e-mail privileges suspended for 5 days  
Follow-up: None required

User: lgoldstein(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Infraction: Laughing at extranet meme use of questionable comedic value  
Action taken: User's Cerberus e-mail privileges suspended for 5 days  
Follow-up: None required

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: tzorah(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: users suspended

Cerberus TOS VI wrote:

"questionable comedic value"

Heh. *Now* who's being generous?

Though, I have to ask - we can get suspended just for laughing at bad jokes? Daniels and I do that at least 3 or 4 times a day just to humor Donnelly.

Tali'Zorah vas Neema

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: tos(at)cerberus-org  
Subject: user suspended

This is an automated notification from the Cerberus Terms of Service (TOS) VI. As subscribers of _crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org_, you are hereby informed that the privileges of a list subscriber have been revoked due to a recent TOS infraction. Details follow.

User: tzorah(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Infraction: Questioning judgment of the TOS VI  
Action taken: User's Cerberus e-mail privileges suspended for 5 days  
Follow-up: The TOS VI finds your lack of faith disturbing

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: msolus(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: user suspended

recent suspensions seem excessive. alteration of protocols possibly needed. first-offense warning system, perhaps? recommend reinstatement of e-mail privileges for recently suspended users.

mordin

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: gvakarian(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: user suspended

Yes, by all means, un-suspend them quickly - otherwise they might miss the latest flame wars and lame e-mail pranks.

Garrus

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: tos(at)cerberus-org  
Subject: user suspended

This is an automated notification from the Cerberus Terms of Service (TOS) VI. As subscribers of _crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org_, you are hereby informed that the privileges of a list subscriber have been revoked due to a recent TOS infraction. Details follow.

User: gvakarian(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Infraction: Excessive snarkiness regarding utility of e-mail list  
Action taken: User's Cerberus e-mail privileges suspended for 5 days  
Follow-up: None required

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jtaylor(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: user suspended

I'm probably going to get suspended for saying this, but these suspensions are getting a little out of hand. Shepard, Miranda, whoever - can someone do something about this VI?

Jacob

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: tos(at)cerberus-org  
Subject: user suspended

This is an automated notification from the Cerberus Terms of Service (TOS) VI. As subscribers of _crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org_, you are hereby informed that the privileges of a list subscriber have been revoked due to a recent TOS infraction. Details follow.

User: jmoreau(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Infraction: Unauthorized hacking of TOS VI e-mail suspension protocols  
Action taken: User's Cerberus e-mail privileges suspended for 15 days; unauthorized suspensions revoked  
Follow-up: None required

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: ashepard(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: user suspended

Well, that explains that.

Someone please remind me to get Joker a coloring book next time we stop at Citadel Souvenirs - he's clearly in dire need of something to do.

Amanda Shepard  
Commanding Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jack(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: back online

OK, I have my e-mail unlocked, and Shepard says I have to try to play nice with you idiots, so...I apologize.

And Donnelly, I won't rip your head off with a warp field.

Yet.


	3. Chapter 3

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: ashepard(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Citadel stopover

We're going to the Citadel at 0800 tomorrow - I need to verify a few things with Anderson and pick up some supplies. I'm going to go ahead and let everyone take shore leave up until 1700. However, please keep in mind that this is a covert mission, so I'm going to ask you all to keep a low profile and not draw attention.

Specifically:

Miranda, Jacob, Joker, and all other Cerberus personnel: if you do leave the ship, please put on some clothes that don't display the Cerberus logo too prominently.

Jack: if you do leave the ship, please put on some clothes. In general.

Tali: you may want to do yourself a favor and stay away from your favorite volus and his olfactory sensors.

Kasumi: resist the temptation to ply your trade. Especially at Sirta Foundation - that's my favorite store on the Citadel.

Grunt: just to be clear - telling Kargesh he can find a fish in Ambassador Udina's underwear drawer again would be an example of *not* keeping a low profile. (Even if Udina did have it coming for about 50 different reasons.)

EDI: you may want to stay offline. The Council doesn't seem inclined to interfere with this mission, but I'm not sure how they'd react to an AI logging into Citadel systems.

Amanda Shepard  
Commanding Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: edi(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Citadel stopover

This is disappointing, Shepard. I had already made plans to meet Avina for coffee.

(That was a joke.)

Enhanced Defense Intelligence  
Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: samara(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Citadel stopover

Interesting. I thought you might have a date with Joker.

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jmoreau(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Citadel stopover

Ha ha, very...

Wait.

Did Samara really just make a funny?

Joker

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: legion(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: joining the crew

We would like to express our thanks to Shepard-Commander and to the rest of the Normandy crew for allowing this mobile platform to assist in fighting the Collectors. We look forward to the exchange of data and will assign at least two subroutines to monitor this e-mail list at all times.

Legion

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: phawthorne(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: joining the crew

Welcome aboard, Legion - but that's probably at least two subroutines more than it's really worth.

Paul Hawthorne  
Junior Security Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: gvakarian(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: joining the crew

Dammit, Hawthorne, that's my line!

Garrus

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: legion(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: joining the crew

Query: Assigning two fewer subroutines to monitor the e-mail list would result in an assignment of zero total subroutines. How would it be possible to monitor the list with zero subroutines?

Legion

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: edi(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: joining the crew

I believe Mr. Hawthorne's comment was meant to be humorous, Legion.

Enhanced Defense Intelligence  
Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: legion(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: joining the crew

Interesting. The suggestion of zero subroutines was meant not as a literal suggestion, but as a jocular method of questioning the utility of the e-mail list. We will file this incident for further study of organic cultural mores.

Legion

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: address suppressed  
Subject: Mission progress

Normandy SR-2 crew members:

I have been monitoring this mission's progress closely and I would just like to say that I am very impressed. All of you have our gratitude for what you are doing for the sake of humanity and for the rest of the galaxy as well.

The Illusive Man

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jack(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Mission progress

Fuck off, Illusive Asshole.

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: mlawson(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Mission progress

Jack, the Illusive Man doesn't pay this sort of personal attention to all of his operatives - you should take it as a compliment. Besides, didn't you tell Commander Shepard that you would try to be more civil in these sorts of situations?

Miranda Lawson  
Senior Cerberus Operative, Lazarus Cell  
Executive Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: jack(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Mission progress

Just for you, cheerleader, I'll make a special effort.

Dear Illusive Asshole, Sir,

Thank you so much for the kind words you bestowed upon us. Could you please, as soon as it happens to be convenient for you, fuck off?

Sincerely,

Jack

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kdonnelly(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: settling a bet

So, I was hoping someone might be able to help me and Gabby settle a bet. She says Cerberus imposes a 10,000 credit fine for sexual harassment. Anyone know if this is true or not?

Ken

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: ashepard(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: settling a bet

Sorry Gabby, but Ken wins this one.

The Cerberus penalty for sexual harassment is that Grunt gets to beat the hell out of the offender.

Amanda Shepard  
Commanding Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: grunt(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: settling a bet

Really? When can I start?

Grunt

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: ashepard(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: settling a bet

That was a joke. (Sorry, EDI.)

Amanda Shepard  
Commanding Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: tzorah(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: settling a bet

You would not believe how quickly the color drained from Donnelly's face just now. Fortunately, I caught the vid on my omnitool! (See below.)

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy

[video file attached]

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: edi(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: computer use limited

As you all know, we will be entering the Omega Relay in two hours. Commander Shepard has instructed me to institute maximum firewall protections. E-mail and other personal use of ship computers will therefore be suspended.

Enhanced Defense Intelligence  
Normandy SR-2


	4. Epilogue

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: kgoto(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Whew!

I still can't quite believe we all made it out of that alive! I hope that's the last we have to see of that creepy Harbinger and his mi-

ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL.

IF I MUST SPAM YOUR E-MAIL ACCOUNT, SHEPARD, I WILL.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Just kidding!

Kasumi Goto  
Infiltrator and Thief Extraordinaire

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: ashepard(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Subject: Re: Whew!

You know, Kasumi, I could technically throw you in the brig for that. (Of course, you'd probably just break out.)

Amanda Shepard  
Commanding Officer, Normandy SR-2

* * *

To: crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
From: tos(at)cerberus-org  
Subject: users suspended

This is an automated notification from the Cerberus Terms of Service (TOS) VI. As subscribers of crew-list(at)normandy-cerberus-org, you are hereby informed that the privileges of three list subscribers have been revoked due to a recent TOS infraction. Details follow.

Users: ashepard(at)normandy-cerberus-org, mlawson(at)normandy-cerberus-org, tzorah(at)normandy-cerberus-org  
Infraction: Destruction of Collector Base  
Action taken: Users' Cerberus e-mail privileges suspended for 30 days  
Follow-up: Users subject to summary execution at Illusive Man's discretion


End file.
